Putting Global Warming on Ice

One lady writes,

My husband and I purchased an old home in northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation.  But my husband confidently declared, “If they could live here all those years, so can we!”  But one November night the temperature plunged to below zero and we woke up to find all of the interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.  And after a rather brief conversation, he hung up and muttered to me, “For the past thirty years they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”

Well, the plan was simple.  One hundred years ago in 1913, Australian explorer, Douglas Mawson, traveled to the Antarctic Circle to do some ice measurements.  And what better way to now demonstrate global warming than to retrace the steps of the famed scientist and duplicate his measurements (which will surely show a massive decrease in ice amount, if there was still any unmelted ice there at all).  So the tax-payer funded BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) and ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) agreed to finance the climate study excursion.  Thus seventy-four people (mainly scientists and journalists) boarded a ship to take the fifteen-hundred mile trek from Australia to the Antarctic.

Now the prudent thing would have been to first check satellite imagery, to see if what global warming skeptics were saying about the recently increasing ice formations at the poles was really true (but why bother when Al Gore had previously announced that by the year 2013 there would no longer be any ice at the poles).  Besides, unlike Douglas Mawson, they were going down in what was summertime there.  I mean, if anything, the penguins would be sunbathing on the Antarctic beaches. And for the first 1,450 miles of the 1,500 mile ocean journey, all went according to schedule.  But then, the last 50 miles of ocean-to-shore that Douglas Mawson had so easily sailed, turned out to be ice.  And not just any ice, but the thick, expanding kind.  Suddenly, the ship was ice-locked and the distress signal went out.  Now, according to the Treaty Of The Safety Of Life At Sea, any other vessels in the area must respond to the plea for help.  Three tried (Australia, China, French) and all three failed –  turning back in fear of getting ice-locked themselves.  So helicopters have been used to rescue the global-warming advocates.  And the ship?  The United States is sending the world’s largest ice-breaker from Seattle, Washington, in an attempt to get it out.  And if it can’t, the ship will stay in its frozen state.

And who’s going to pay for all of this?  After all, the rescue bill will be some millions of dollars.  Again, according to ocean law, it is the owner of the vessel, in this case, Russia.  But often that responsibility is passed on to those who charter the ship. So you can be sure the lawyers for the BBC and ABC are right now going over the contract with a fine-tooth comb.

By the way, the only visitors to the ship?  The penguins!  They’ve been walking up, looking in, and undoubtedly thinking, “Hey, don’t you people know it’s not 1913!”