There were three fellas talking in Tim Hortons – two about the amount of control they had over their wives, while the other remained silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and said, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The fellow replied, “Okay, I’ll tell you. Just the other night she came to me on her hands and her knees.” The first two guys were really impressed. “What happened then?” “She said to me, ‘Alright, get out from under the bed and fight like a man’!”
Some men may be afraid of their wives at home, but it turns out that ISIS fighters are terrified of women on the battlefield. Let me explain. The Koran teaches if a Moslem’s killed while carrying out a jihad (terrorist attack on infidels) his reward will be seventy-two virgins in paradise. However, that promise does come with some fine print and here it is – the Islamic man must meet his fate at the hands of a male. If he is killed by a female, then not only does he lose his brothel in heaven, but his soul burns eternally in virgin-less hell. And this theology has not gone unnoticed in Israel. As the IDF (Israeli Defence Force) prepares for an eventual ISIS assault on the nation, it is training military units composed almost entirely of elite female soldiers to meet the challenge; as nothing terrifies an Arab terrorist more than a woman at the other end of a pointed rifle.
The bottom line? How do you spell ISIS? S-I-S-S-Y.
● Israel is one of only a handful of countries in the entire world (Eritrea, Norway) with a mandatory military requirement for women to serve in the armed forces.
● Israel mandates that its youth, upon high school graduation (or age 18) sign up for military service: young men for three years and young ladies for two.
● Israel does exempt young women from military service who: are married, pregnant, or have a child. But two-thirds of all eighteen-year-old ladies do sign up.
● Israel has an army that gender-wise consists of males (60%) and females (40%). However, percentage-wise, women officers outnumber men by 51% to 49%.
● Israel does not limit combat duty to males. There are women: in the army who drive tanks, in the navy who man torpedoes, and in the air force who fly fighter jets.
● Israel is seeing a surge in young orthodox women enlist since it allowed for rabbinical guidelines, such as letting these ladies wear skirts in training and in battle.
● Israel has a division called the Caracal (named after a small cat whose sexes appear to be the same). In these units are the elite of the elite male and female soldiers.
● Israel places all who complete their active military service in the reserves. These civilians are required to report for training one month per year until age 40.
The inhabitants of the villages ceased, until I, Deborah, arose a mother in Israel.