Feb
12

TALK ABOUT A BIG MAC ATTACK!

Home > Pastor's Page > TALK ABOUT A BIG MAC ATTACK!

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold evening.  The old man placed an order for one hamburger, french fries, and a drink.  After they sat down, he unwrapped the hamburger and carefully cut it in two, placing one half in front of his wife. Then, he carefully counted the fries, divided them in two piles, before placing one pile in front of his wife.  He took a sip from the drink, and then his wife took a sip. Then, he set the cup down in between them, and finally started to take little bites out of his burger.  All the while, the other customers around them started staring and whispering.  It was clear what they thought, “That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”  As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came over to the table, and politely offered to buy them an additional meal.  But the old man grunted, and said that they were fine. “We’re used to sharing everything,” he said.  The surrounding people noticed the little old lady still hadn’t eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally they taking turns sipping the drink.  Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them.  This time the old woman says “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.”  As the old man finishes and wipes his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who still had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks, “May I ask what is it you are waiting for?” And the old woman answers, “the teeth”.

Donald A. Gorske lives just outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  He had his initial Big Mac hamburger when he got his driver’s license and headed off to his local McDonalds’ restaurant – where it was love at first bite.  And so much so that ever since that very first Big Mac, he basically consumes no other kind of food.  That’s right, every day for years it’s pretty well been Big Macs (and a large Coca Cola with each one).  He either eats them at his local McDonalds or buys a stack for home – where he keeps them chilled in the refrigerator until warming up one or more in the microwave.  He even has an emergency supply in the freezer (just in case there’s a snow storm and he can’t get to McDonalds).  His local McDonalds has given him his own designated booth with his name on the table and  the accompanying side-wall for displaying his history museum of different Big Mac containers.  (In his basement he has every carton of every Big Mac he’s ever eaten along with the accompanying receipt.  Outside his home he has a statue of Ronald McDonald on his front lawn.  And he has a specially made hat that has a foot-high plastic replica of a Big Mac on top.)  He proposed to his wife (who is a registered nurse and a vegetarian) in his personal McDonalds’ booth, informing her that she would never have to cook a meal for him.   And as you can guess, Don is in the Guinness Book of World Records for the most Big Macs ever eaten by one human being, now totaling over 30,000.  However, there have been a few days when he did not eat a Big Mac.  For instance, one was when his mother died and another was when the inventor of the Big Mac passed away (he abstained on these days, so he would always remember the dates).  But otherwise, it’s only been, “two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun”, each one taking exactly 16 bites to consume.

Now I told you all of that to tell you this.  Ever since Don Gorske started eating only Big Macs and drinking only Coca Cola – he has never been sick, has never missed a day of work and has never been to a doctor. (This in spite of the fact that one Big Mac contains 52% of one’s total daily fat allowance, 45% of one’s total daily sodium allowance and 28% of one’s total daily cholesterol allowance).  The 6′ 2″, 185 lb. man has not put on any weight and his levels (cholesterol, sugar, blood, etc.) – checked yearly by his  registered-nurse wife, are what everyone’s should be (Don puts it down to coming from good German stock).  It’s also no wonder as to why when McDonalds is sued by someone for making themselves or other people unhealthy, re the restaurant’s salt/fat laden menu, Don is called in as a witness by the restaurant chain in its defense.

The bottom line?  Any honest person, medically trained or otherwise, will tell you that a steady diet of fast food cannot be good for you.  And so just remember – we should never make the exception to the rule, the rule.

Update – Don Gorske’s Big Mac diet days may soon be over, not because of any sudden personal health concern on his part, but due to market conditions.  Today, McDonalds’ key customer base are called the Millennials (ages 18 -34) and only 1 in 5 Millennials have ever ordered a Big Mac.  So to boost sales, McDonalds is rolling out the Big Mac Trio – a larger Big Mac (the Grand Mac with bigger meat patties) and a smaller Big Mac (Mac Jr. with only one patty and no middle bun).  And if this doesn’t work, Big Macs may soon go the way of cassette tapes, floppy discs and fax machines.  Oh well, Don says if that happens, he’ll just have to switch over to Burger King and their Whopper.