Dec
23

SAY GOODBYE CANADA, THE NORTH POLE IS MOVING TO RUSSIA

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Someone has said that there are four stages to Santa Claus.  First, you believe in Santa Claus.  Second,  you don’t believe in Santa Claus.  Third, you are Santa Claus.  And fourth, you look like Santa Claus.

Well, whatever stage you find yourself in, one thing has been constant when it comes to Santa; he lives in the North Pole and the North Pole is located in Canada. Mr. Claus even has an official Canadian address – Santa Claus, North Pole, Canada, HOHOHO – to which about 1.5 million letters, written by children, arrive each year.  (And every boy and girl gets a personalized reply in the mail, thanks to the elves at Canada Post and various service club volunteers across the nation.)

And recently Canada presented to the Clauses (both Mr. And Mrs.) the 2,999,999th and 3,000,000 ePassports at a special ceremony with these comments: “Santa and Mrs. Claus live in North Pole, Canada, with their many helpers.  Like so many Canadian citizens who enjoy extensive travel around the world, the Clauses were thrilled to receive their ePassports, which are among the world’s most accepted and secure travel documents.  Whether you are travelling by car, by boat, or with a team of flying reindeer, Canada’s ePassport is the most convenient and safe way to go.”

But, according to the geophysicists who track the earth’s magnetic field, Santa will soon have to be sending out change-of-address cards and applying for a new passport as the North Pole is exiting Canada and  entering Russia.  Here’s why:

The Earth’s magnetic field exists thanks to swirling liquid nickel and iron in the planet’s outer core some 1,800 miles below the surface.  And the North Pole is the one spot on the top of the planet where all of the  Earth’s magnetic field lines converge and drive strait into its core.  The magnetic pole itself was discovered by the famous Arctic explorer, Sir James Clark Ross, in June of 1831.  Sir James claimed the location for Britain and was knighted for such by Queen Victoria. And well he should have been, for what Ross found made worldwide navigation possible, including today’s GPS (global positioning system).  However, the North Pole is not stationary, it moves; about 25 miles annually (so every five years the world’s navigational numbers are adjusted accordingly). But now, for some reason still not understood by scientists, the pole is racing across the Arctic region towards Siberia and geophysicists say the galloping trajectory into Russia is unstoppable.  It is even causing the world’s navigational numbers to now be calibrated yearly.

(There are those who see this prophetically as per Isaiah 24:1,  Behold, the Lord maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste, and turneth it upside down, and scattereth abroad the inhabitants thereof.)

The bottom line?  I’m not sure what Santa Claus did to get himself shipped off  to Siberia, but whatever it was –  it must have been naughty and not very nice.