Titanic II

A magician was working on a cruise ship.  Since the audience was different each week,  he did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem – the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick – and once the bird understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat!” or, “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?”  The magician was furious but what could he do?  It was, after all, the captain’s  parrot.  Then one night on the ocean there was an explosion and unfortunately the ship sank.  But luckily, the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea and as fate would have it, with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but not a word was uttered between the two.  This went on for a day, then two days, then three. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said, “Okay, I give up, what did you do with the ship?”

The most famous cruise liner to ever sink was that of the Titanic (name comes from Greek mythology meaning gigantic).  Built in Great Britain in 1912, the vessel was declared unsinkable, but on the night of April 15, it hit an Atlantic Ocean iceberg and sank, taking with it the lives of 1,557 of its 2,224 passengers.  However, the Titanic is soon to sail once again.  An eccentric tycoon, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer (made his vast fortune in minerals), is financing the rebuilding of an exact replica of the infamous cruise liner.

At a cost of $876 million (in Canadian dollars), Titanic II will be as going back in time.  An advisory board of  Titanic historical experts has been formed to ensure that everything is as original as possible: from the wood used for the massive winding staircase down to the length and width of the salad forks.  Like the Titanic, Titanic II will have nine floors, 840 cabins, and be able to accommodate 2,400 passengers.  And as before, there will be three level of tickets sold – first class, second class, third class – with each class of passengers not being able to associate with those classes socially above them (each passenger will even be given optional period costumes to wear befitting their economic level at the time).  Entertainment will be as it was in 1912 with live music and parlor games the main attractions.  There will be no television sets to watch, no recorded music to listen to, no computers to play games on, and no internet to keep in touch with the outside world.  The menus will also be replicated, with first class ticket holders  feasting on the  likes of  steak and lobster, while third class ticket holders will have to settle for nightly stews and breads.
The one major difference between the Titanic and Titanic II will be the lifeboats.  Whereas there was only enough life boats on the Titanic to ensure the safety of  the upper class passengers, on Titanic II there will be the required number of life boats to look after everyone.  (Interestingly, when ships arrived at the spot to deal with the dead floating bodies of the disaster, the corpses were treated as follows: first- class passengers recovered were placed in coffins, returned ashore, met there by ship company officials, and transported to family members  …  second-class passengers recovered were put into body bags, taken back and laid on the shore for family members to come, identify, and remove … third-class passengers were left at sea for the sharks to consume).

I thought of testing fate and going, except the entire ship is being constructed on the cheap, all “Made In China”.