‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through
the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt –
I said to myself, as I only can,
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
‘Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick,
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore –
But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
JESUS WAS NOT A REFUGEE
With the U.S. government shut down over border-wall funding, it has become fashionable on the left to say that we need to open up our borders to refugees, because after all, Jesus was one (taken to Egypt by his parents to escape King Herod’s wrath). However, there is just one problem, Jesus was not a refugee. At least, not according to the United Nations’ definition of such, which all of the world’s major nations signed on in agreement that – “A refugee is defined as any person who is outside of their own nation and who is unable or unwilling to return to their own country because of persecution or a well-founded fear due to race, religion, ethnicity, political opinion, etc.
But Jesus was not a refugee for two key reasons:
#1 He did not flee to another land (“a refugee is any person outside of their own nation”). In the time of Rome, Egypt was considered just one of a number of provinces of the Empire. This meant that you could travel freely in and out of the Land of the Pharaoh without having to cross a border, pass through a check-point, have a passport, make application for entrance, etc. What Jesus did was like us going from one Canadian province to another.
#2 He did not stay in another land (“a refugee is any person unable or unwilling to return to their own nation”). When the angel told Joseph of King Herod’s death and that his family was now “able” to return, they were more than “willing” to get back home.
And by the way, the entire round trip did not cost the Roman government a single dime. The family had more than enough money from the gifts of the magi.