In the hospital, the relatives gathered and prayed in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, quite risky, and you’ll have to pay for the brain yourselves.” The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. At length, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?” The doctor quickly responded, “A female brain goes for $20,000. A male brain costs $50,000.” The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A girl, unable to control her curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why does the male brain cost so much more?” The doctor smiled at her childish innocence and then said to the entire group, “It’s a standard pricing procedure. We mark the female brains down because they’re used.”
Speaking of brains, the American Association for the Advancement of Science says in Family Size Determines Intelligence, that children from smaller families have higher IQs (Intelligent Quotient) than do boys and girls from larger families. It notes a generational rise in SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Testing) scores and a corresponding generational decrease in family size over the past two generations.
The head researcher predicted the trend would continue, concluding with, “The greater the number of children born in a family, the less their intellectual maturity. Thus the academic advantages of coming from a small family are gigantic. And by small, I mean no more than two children, three the max.”
But God says in Psalm 127 says, Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord … Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. So I would respond as follows:
Guess Who’s Not Coming To Dinner!
You are cordially invited to an imaginary dinner party. However, due to academic limitations; only first, second or third persons are allowed to attend.
(The following would not be able to come.)
Music – Beethoven (5th born) … Handel (6th born)
Mozart (7th born) … Bach (8th born)
President – Reagan (4th born) … Washington (5th born)
Jefferson (5th born) … Lincoln (5th born)
Minister – Moody (6th born) … Edwards (11th born)
Wesley (17th born) … Wesley (19th born)
Mission – Simpson (4th born) … Livingston (5th born)
Brainard (9th born) … Smith (10th born)
Also absent would be the biblical: David (8th born). Joseph (11th born) and Solomon (16th born).
As a matter of fact, it has been well documented that from the bloodline of the great Puritan preacher, Jonathan Edwards (11th born) came the following:
● 13 University Pres.
● 65 College Professors
● 101 Judicial Lawyers
● 30 Court Judges
● 67 Medical Doctors
● 12 Preachers
● 21 School Teachers
● 80 Elected Legislators
● 13 U.S. Congressmen
● 3 U.S. Senators
● 3 Governors/Mayors
● 1 Vice President
The bottom line? So the next time some academic tries to tell you that there are only so many brains to go around per family, remember; he may have gotten an “A” in science, but obviously an “F” in history.
Note – For what it’s worth, I am a (5th born).
Brains, Brains, Brains
An adult brain weighs about 3 pounds … Babies have big heads to hold rapidly growing brains inside their skulls. A teenage brain is not yet fully developed. The human brain will grow until about age 25, staying that size until around age 65, when it begins to shrink … The brain of a human contains approximately 100 billion neurons which travel up to 250 miles per hour between cells as we think and talk … Cholesterol is key to the brain learning and remembering … The brain uses the most energy (20%) of any organ in the body … The blood vessels that are present in the brain are almost 100,000 miles in length … Men’s brains are larger than women’s, but the part of the brain that remembers is bigger in ladies … The human brain produces enough energy to light a ten-watt light bulb.