I CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION

The Bible in 50 Words, “God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled, bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, Love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.” … [Read more…]

GETTING AHEAD BY GOING BACKWARDS

On his sixteenth birthday, a son approached his father and said, “Dad, I’m sixteen now. When I get my license, can I drive the family car?” His father looked at him and said, “Son, driving the car takes maturity, and first, you must prove that you are responsible enough. And one way you must do … [Read more…]

A HAIRY ISSUE

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill and the barber replied, “I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.” The florist was pleased and left the shop. Then when the barber went to open his shop the next morning, … [Read more…]

FARMERS ON THE FOREFRONT

A Texan is visiting Israel and feeling thirsty, so he stops at a house along the road. “Can you give me a drink?” asks the Texan “Of course,” says the Israeli, and he invited the Texan to come in. “What do you do?” asks the Texan. “I raise chickens,” says the Israeli. “Really?” says the … [Read more…]

THE RAINBOW DIET

A young son was lying in bed, listening to his father read the bed-time story book to him. After hearing all of the fairy tales, the little boy said the following to his parent. “Now let me get this straight. Snow White was poisoned by an apple and almost died. Jack found a huge giant … [Read more…]

FIGHTING OVER THE FARM

One day, the father of a very wealthy family sent his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. The son spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. Upon the son’s return, the … [Read more…]

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

Could Adam Have Named All Of The Animals In One Day? Seven mathematicians were discussing the Bible and the question came up as to how many apples Adam and Eve ate in the Garden of Eden. Each math wiz gave their answer, First man: I think there was only one apple in the Garden … … [Read more…]

THE BIBLE AND THE BINDI

A health-and-wealth televangelist, an orthodox Jewish rabbi and a Hindu holy man, travelling together, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said: “There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house, so one of you must … [Read more…]

WORSHIP WARS

An older lady came to the pastor after a church service; not about the sermon, but about the music. She did not like the new choruses being introduced into the worship hour. The pastor replied that David wrote in the Psalms to sing a new song and that is what he would have played on … [Read more…]